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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I am a lifelong cannibal. Trouble is I've run out of ways to prepare human brains. I've tried everything from raw to steamed with veggies but nothing seems to excite my palate like it used to. HELP!!!
-Z. L.
Dear Z. L.,
This is not the first time someone has written with a plea for a new brain recipe. Brains are everyone's favorite but there are only so many ways one can successfully prepare them. The problem with brains is that the tissue is very delicate and it tends to dissolve if not prepared exactly right. I prefer to eat them raw, but parboiling them and then pan-searing them in fat (preferably from the same body as the brain) with just a dash of salt and white pepper can be really delicious.
As you know, the average human brain isn't really very filling. I like to eat raw brains as an appetizer or a light snack. Tongues are wonderful as appetizers, too, but they can be rather chewy, and for those of our kind who have lost teeth (it is inevitable), it's best to marinate them first. Soak them in blood and disgestive fluid for about an hour. Then place them on a skewer - finger bones work well for this - and toast them over an open fire. Once the tongue is gone, you can suck the marrow out of the bones! Ears are great when tossed into a salad. They have roughly the same consistency as calamari; just be sure to clean them well. As a main course, I far prefer raw thighs and rump roasts. And what is a dinner without eyeballs for dessert (these are to die for when soaked with brandy and set aflame!)!?
I hope this has helped you to see that we have a lot of options when serving the human body.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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