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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
A repulsive creature recently moved into the vicinity and suddenly all the young boys in the area are behaving like zombies (please excuse the comparison, but I don't know how else to describe it). Their eyes are vacant and they act like they're in a trance. What has this monster done to them and what can be done to help them?
-Danny
Dear Danny,
No offense taken, Danny. Unfortunately, dear, I am intimately acquainted with this creature. It calls itself "Scruffy", and it sports big, "80s" hair. It seduces naive, young boys with promises of security and love: virtues that it desires but is incapable of attaining on its own. It has a personality disorder and a serious case of arrested development. It preys only on the weakest members of the herd, and takes from others what it lacks: a soul. It is singularly occupied with feeding its own voracious ego. After the soul is extracted from its prey, it moves on to conquer others, leaving in its wake a string of empty vessels. Its victims never fully recover and usually live out their lives as convenience store clerks or fry cooks.
This creature is not particularly intelligent, but it is extremely manipulative and you must always be on guard against it. The best way to combat this harpy is to completely ignore it. It will wither and die from a lack of attention.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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