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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
What can I do with a midget, a 10-inch piece of string and a lump of Play-doh?
-Puzzled in PA
Dear Puzzled,
It is no coincidence that you have come into possession of all of these items at the same time; it is the hand of fate -- divine intervention, if you will!
Proper maintenance is essential to prolonging the life of your midget. Midget flossing is very important, especially around the holidays when midgets tend to get bloated and their little colons get clogged with high-calorie party-food. (Do try to limit your midget's snacks.)
Divide the lump of Play-doh evenly into two pieces and set aside. While firmly holding onto one end of the string, have your midget swallow the other end. Wait until the string appears at the other end of your midget. Attach a lump of clay to each string end, now at each end of your midget. Using the clay pieces as handles, you may commence flossing. Your midget will thank you for it!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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