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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
To start off I have to say that I'm a big fan of yours and hope to soon be a member of The League of the Living Dead.
I used to like this girl who I met online and have been friends with for a long time and finally got to meet her in person. She told me she was bi-sexual and had a girlfriend who she has been with for around 9 years. Recently I told her that I liked her as more than a friend and she comes out to me and tells me that she likes another guy. The thing is that the guy who she says she is supposed to be in love with is way older than her. The guy is 63 years old and she is in her 20's. She also told me that she is leaving the state where I live and moving to where he lives to be with him. Also the thing is that she has only known him for 3 months.
My question is can a person be truly in love with somebody she has only known for 3 months and who is 4 times her age? Please give me some advice on if I should continue being friends with her or what I should do.
Signed,
-LF
Dear LF,
I hardly know where to begin; this is disturbing on so many levels.
Naturally, I am struck by your eagerness to join our organization and we can arrange this immediately. When your transformation is complete, you won't care about the girl, or the old man, or the fact that your math skills are sorely lacking.
However, if you wish to put your membership on hold until this issue is resolved, my advice would be to let her go and live with the geezer and wash your hands of her. It's clear that she doesn't know what she wants and she'll only bring confusion and stress to your life. I know very little about love among you mortals, but I do know that it seems to be an endless source of torment and unhappiness. League members are never tormented or unhappy; as long as we have a supply of fresh meat, we're content.
Remember our Motto-Of-The-Day, dear LF, "Meat will never disappoint you."
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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