Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Skin Care And Beauty Tips

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I recently had an MRI because I was having abdominal pain. I felt quite certain I could handle the potentially claustrophobia-inducing aspect of the test because I usually enjoy small, dark confined spaces. However, I neglected to mention to the technician that I used to swallow nails for a living when I worked for Circus O' Freaks. I really thought they had all "passed" through my system years ago. Well, I was wrong, and you can imagine what happened. One after another, the nails erupted through my flesh. The technician ran screaming from the room and I was left to drown in my own blood inside an alien machine. Okay, it wasn't quite that bad, but it was rather unpleasant and many of the nails perforated the inside of the tube. The hospital personnel were NOT pleased. Three men entered the room, whisked me out of the tube, slapped a straightjacket on me and dragged me to the psychiatric ward where I've been languishing for nearly a week. Did they bother with the wounds on my body? Not really. They were more concerned for the welfare of their precious machine (which I presume had to be patched up and hosed down after I left it). Anyway, they finally let me out with a prescription for lithium and a promise never to darken their doorstep again. Not a problem! My wounds have healed nicely, and the abdominal pain is gone, but I still have 417 nails sticking out of my body and dressing has become a challenge. I've decided to shave all the hair on my body and wear only paint. Do you know any good makeup artists?
-Spike


I just happen to have a colleague who specializes in post-MRI metal trauma and airbrushing. She's a wiz with trompe l'oeil body painting techniques and she thinks you'd look peachy as a Saguaro cactus. I think it's a perfect fit for your unique physicality! Please come in to our headquarters for a free consultation and photo shoot. Hope that helps!
Love,
Ghoulfriend


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The Ghoul Next Door - Night of the Living Dead 's Little Zombie

Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Skin Care And Beauty Tips

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I recently had an MRI because I was having abdominal pain. I felt quite certain I could handle the potentially claustrophobia-inducing aspect of the test because I usually enjoy small, dark confined spaces. However, I neglected to mention to the technician that I used to swallow nails for a living when I worked for Circus O' Freaks. I really thought they had all "passed" through my system years ago. Well, I was wrong, and you can imagine what happened. One after another, the nails erupted through my flesh. The technician ran screaming from the room and I was left to drown in my own blood inside an alien machine. Okay, it wasn't quite that bad, but it was rather unpleasant and many of the nails perforated the inside of the tube. The hospital personnel were NOT pleased. Three men entered the room, whisked me out of the tube, slapped a straightjacket on me and dragged me to the psychiatric ward where I've been languishing for nearly a week. Did they bother with the wounds on my body? Not really. They were more concerned for the welfare of their precious machine (which I presume had to be patched up and hosed down after I left it). Anyway, they finally let me out with a prescription for lithium and a promise never to darken their doorstep again. Not a problem! My wounds have healed nicely, and the abdominal pain is gone, but I still have 417 nails sticking out of my body and dressing has become a challenge. I've decided to shave all the hair on my body and wear only paint. Do you know any good makeup artists?
-Spike


I just happen to have a colleague who specializes in post-MRI metal trauma and airbrushing. She's a wiz with trompe l'oeil body painting techniques and she thinks you'd look peachy as a Saguaro cactus. I think it's a perfect fit for your unique physicality! Please come in to our headquarters for a free consultation and photo shoot. Hope that helps!
Love,
Ghoulfriend


Return to the Table of Contents