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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
As a Zombie Master in command of a small army of undead, most of which were recruited from a local women's college, I have recently found myself physically attracted to a number of my minions. What are the legal and social issues associated with dating within my horde?
-Necrophilia is Fun, in St. Louis
Dear Necro,
Technically, you are not a necrophiliac; one has to be alive to be that demented. You are simply attracted to one (or more) of your own species, which is completely natural. Although I can think of no legal ramifications arising from fraternization with subordinates, you are certain to sustain serious injuries from trysts with your troops. These will probably not be life-threatening wounds, but they could be embarrassing and if I were you, I'd have some duct tape and J.B. Weld on hand just in case. Keep up the good work, soldier! Knock 'em dead!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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