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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I am in love with someone but I do not know if they are in love with me. Any help for someone who has been hit with Cupid's arrow but does not quite know what to do about it. Any idea?
-Pierced
Dear Pierced,
Ah, love is a ghastly thing! I try my best not to muddy up my life with such nonsense and I'm much happier for it. Many people feel as I do; just look at all the popular songs that disparage love! "Love Hurts," "Love Stinks," "Love is a Battlefield," "Love is a Putrid Pile of Steaming Entrails," -- the list goes on and on. Why would you want the object of your affection to eventually rip your heart out, stomp all over it and leave you drowning in your own tears?
The Army of the Living Dead, led by our ferocious General "White Eyes" Wallis, is currently on the hunt for Cupid because he has terrorized the hearts and minds of the living, and living-dead alike, for far too long. That fat little demon has ruined countless lives and been the muse of too many insipid songs. We have also been told that he doesn't even have a permit for that weapon. When they catch him, he will rue the day he ever set foot on this planet.
As for the flesh wound you sustained when the little monster's arrow hit you, you should really put something on that before it gets infected. Hope that helps!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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