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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My band and I are trying to make the most evil sounding extreme metal ever and we would like your advice on how to make our live shows infamous and something to really remember.
-Grim
Dear Grim,
I'm not a musician myself, but I do appreciate a good Corpse Guitar player. I think that's the direction you and your band should take. They sound great - and stringing them up is half the fun! (This is only practical with a male corpse, of course.) One corpse can provide a splendid musical instrument and a fabulous dinner! (E-mail me for recipes if you need some.)
String from the ears to the nether regions and then twist the ears to adjust tension on the strings. A hollow body has a wonderfully resonant quality, and they're quite simple to create. Just scoop out the organs and set them aside in the fridge for future feasting. Install the pickups roughly where the colon used to be and you're ready to go. Your shows will be unforgettable -- guaranteed!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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