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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My computer recently burst into flames and it took me six weeks to decide that it was hopeless and finally buy a new one. How can I become more decisive? I find that being a living corpse has made me very tentative. I can't even decide who to eat and who not to eat anymore!! I'm becoming a bundle of nerves and am afraid to leave the tomb sometimes!! Help!!
-E. Z. L.
Dear E. Z. L.,
Clearly your circadian rhythms are out of whack, dear. You appear to be suffering from SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder. What is Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, you ask?
SAD is a condition we ghouls sometimes acquire after consuming exclusively sunlight-deprived humans during the fall and winter months. As you know, Vitamin D is very important in maintaining strong bones and mental health. Our people in the northern climes are most susceptible to this disorder and we suffer terribly from depression, anxiety and frequent fractures. Being a northern ghoul myself, I have fallen victim to SAD a few times and I know it's no fun. However, I've found that feeding on people leaving tanning salons significantly alleviates the symptoms. Granted, their skin is a tad tougher than the norm, but their flesh is rich in Vitamin D, and if you bag a few of those bronzed beauties every week, you'll feel like yourself in no time! Just be sure to stay away from the spray-on tans; those taste terrible!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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