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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My fiancée and I just moved in together and we're having trouble compromising on decorating the living room. I wanted to hang a corpse on the wall but she wants to hang Van Gogh reproductions and pictures of flowers. How can we compromise?
-M. B.
Dear M. B.,
Your fiancée suffers from a limited imagination and deplorable taste. When it comes to interior decorating, she is a boor.
You, on the other hand, have exactly what it takes to be a top designer. Don't even think about compromising your vision for the perfect space. No one should have to live in a home whose walls feature tired botanical prints and swirling landscapes. Not only is it in extremely poor taste, it actually violates our contract. It has been proven that we Living Dead Entities require aesthetically appropriate environs if we are to thrive emotionally and physically, and our living quarters must meet certain standards.
Talk to your fiancée and explain to her that your mental health depends on tasteful corpse-decor. If she really loves you she will comply with your wishes. If she persists in following those ghastly 1950s decorating protocols, however, you will have to hang her corpse on the wall and find another fiancée. Thanks for writing!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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