Ghoulnextdoor.com
The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I e-mailed 83 nude pictures of myself to a boy I like and now he won't speak to me because his server exploded and he lost all his mail. How can I make this up to him?
-Barbie Doll
Dear Barbie,
I don't mean to be unkind, dear, but you need to lose weight. If you were thinner, this would not have happened. Skinny pictures take up less server space than fat ones do. It's a matter of physics, darling; everyone knows this.
I'm not sure there's anything you can do to make up the loss of multiple megabytes of personal correspondence. My advice is to cut your losses, call Jenny Craig and throw away your digital camera. You must vow never to harm anyone with chubby technology again.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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