Ghoulnextdoor.com
The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I just arrived here from another dimension and I'm having a hell of a time getting my bearings. Is it me, or are all humans stupid? And where can I get a decent cup of Chai?
-Ted
Dear Ted,
It is not you; thankfully, most humans are lumbering, insensible oafs, and we would be in big trouble if they were any smarter. If not for their abject stupidity, we would never be able to stalk and/or catch a meal. We zombies are not typically very subtle or stealthy creatures, and anyone but the most dimwitted would see us coming a mile away. It is humans' obliviousness which endears them to us.
As for the Chai, any trendy coffee shop should be able to accommodate you. If you're interested in a tasty nosh with your beverage, coffee shops are safe and rewarding venues in which to graze. The free-range hipsters who frequent those places are blessedly unaware of anything aside from themselves and the contents of their laptops, and making a meal of those folks is like taking candy from a baby. Enjoy your visit!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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