Ghoulnextdoor.com
The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
With the Unholidays coming up, I find myself sinking into a pit of despair. (Maybe its snakes, but it seems like despair.) I feel that the special someone in my life is trying leave me. I want to know, how can I keep it inside my head where it belongs? I just can't look in the mirror without seeing that serpent-bodied, human-faced, wolf-fanged demon swimming around in the darkness of my eyes. It would kill me, literally, to lose it.
Is there some gift my demon might want? Some incantation that might lock it in place?
-Ant
Dear Ant,
I once sank into a pit of snakes and it was a very enjoyable experience -- much like sleeping on a venomous vibrating bed.
I am pleased to hear that you have a head-demon. You must be very special because they don't occupy just anyone's cranium. They're extremely discerning about whom they possess and usually reside only in schizophrenics, narcissists and mimes.
The gift every head-demon clamors for this year is the Easy Bake Oven. Don't let the X-Box brawls fool you; nothing beats an Easy Bake Oven when you want to woo a supernatural friend. Of course, you'll have to stock up on extra SpongeBob SquarePants Krabby Patties mix, but I'm sure you'll agree, your demon is well worth the cost.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
Return to the Table of Contents
