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Dear Ghoulfriend,
What is the going rate for a Tooth Fairy transaction nowadays?
-Tara's Pop
Dear Tara's Pop,
The Tooth Fairy is not a League member, and we are not formally advised of rates hikes. However, because our members lose teeth on a fairly regular basis, some of my staff have told me that the going rate for permanent, adult teeth is roughly $1.00 (American) per gram. My adminstrative assistant lost an incisor just last week, placed it under a pillow on her sofa, and the next morning she discovered a shiny, new Liberty Dollar in its place. We surmised that payment for her offering had been slightly discounted due to severe decay. While the Tooth Fairy tends to be a generous creature, I've heard that there is a regional deviation in rates. Our staff members in West Virginia*, for instance, tell me that they are only paid $.10 per tooth. Perhaps this is because the poor fairy is kept so busy there, with the dead and living alike, that she simply can't afford to pay the going rate for a substandard product.
If this is your child's first tooth, you can expect the Tooth Fairy to be a bit more generous. I have researched this matter and it seems that the national average is $867.00 for a first tooth, and $435.16 for every baby-tooth thereafter.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
*Note to my readers in West Virginia: before you complain that I've sullied your reputations, Ghoulfriend recognizes that there are anomalies in the populace of your state and that several of you have been able to maintain a mouthful of your own teeth past the age of 15.
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