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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I work in a hospital. Since arising from the grave it has been increasingly difficult to provide quality patient care! All I want to do is sink my teeth into their delicious flesh. This goes against the Hippocratic Oath of "Above all do no harm." I AM SO HUNGRY! What should I do?
-Dr. Ima Corpse
Dear Dr. Corpse,
Your dead-ication to your former profession is endearing; however, as a member of the League of the Living Dead (which encompasses all manner of undead entities), you are expressly forbidden by our contract to give aid and comfort to mortal humans. As things stand now, you are in violation of Article 13, Section 9., Subsection b., which clearly states:
"A Living Dead Entity - hereafter referred to as LDE (see Article 1, Section 1, Subsection a.
for other terms used for 'Living Dead Entity') - may not aid, assist, or comfort, or in any way
cause to be aided, assisted or comforted, any living, mortal human being, regardless of the LDE's profession, religious affiliation and beliefs, or relationship to said human(s) prior to the time of said LDE's mortal death."
You really must consult your contract immediately. If for some reason you have not yet received your copy, please let me know asap and I will get one out to you via Dedex. The penalties for contract violations are rather severe, as you can imagine.
Go ahead and eat those people, Dr. Corpse -but don't eat their brains! We need more dues-paying members!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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