Ghoulnextdoor.com
The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I heard on ZNN that you were the target of a kidnapping plot. Is it true?
-Meg Alomaniac
Dear Meg,
Ah yes, unfortunately, it is true. Cryptic transmissions gathered from members of Al Qaeda indicate that they planned to kidnap me in order to culturally destabilize The League of the Living Dead. While this is flattering in the extreme, I don't wish to live out my days wearing veils in a cave in Afghanistan or some other Godforsaken place that doesn't have ready internet access.
The plot was uncovered in mid-September and I was immediately contacted by the Secret Service. I am grateful to them for apprising me of the plan and for offering their protection, particularly through the hectic Halloween season. It's good to know that despite our basic philosophical differences, my government cares enough about my well-being and the integrity of The League of the Living Dead to station eighteen agents in and around our headquarters and my home. I liked a couple of them so much that they've since become League members themselves and they're now in command of our own in-house security force.
As for those Al Qaeda thugs, they'll have to look elsewhere for advice!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
More of The League Of The Living Dead
Return to the Table of Contents
