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Dear Ghoulfriend,
I know you weren't dead for very long, but did you happen to see the "white light" everyone talks about or witness any proof of an afterlife?
-Just Curious
Dear J. C.,
This IS the afterlife, my dear, and it's heaven to us. As it happens, I did see a white light just after I experienced my mortal death, but it turned out to be the lights from the documentary film crew. A few of our kind claim to have seen the famed "white light" just before their entrance into the realm of living death, but I always thought they were delusional, or at the very least, mischaracterizing the phenomenon.
We at The League of the Living Dead&trade have always been intrigued by tales of "the afterlife" and our scientists have researched it rather extensively. We now believe that the appearance of the "white light" signifies the death of brain cells, rather than a celestial event. As you know, if too many of our brain cells die, we are unable to successfully reanimate, so it's advisable to get up and start moving as soon as possible. We like to think of the white light as nature's little alarm clock. If and when you see it, you'll know that it's time to get up, get moving and find breakfast!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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