Ghoulnextdoor.com
The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I need to lose 4 pounds in the next 3 weeks to reach my goal in my Weight Watchers program.
My goal is to lose 20 pounds in the 12 week session. So far I have lost 16 pounds. I come to you for guidance to help me reach my goal. Any suggestions?
-Slowly Wasting Away
Dear Wasting,
According to my calculations, you have lost an average of 1.78 pounds per week over the last 9 weeks, and if you stay the course, you should be able to lose another 5.34 pounds in the next 3 weeks. Wait! What am I saying?!? Please stop! Do NOT lose any more weight! We like you just the way you are! Nicely marbled meat is what we live for! I am sending you a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts as a bonus prize for having your question answered in my column. They are good for you. Please eat all of them right away. Thank you.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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