Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Exploding The Myth

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I have some questions that have puzzled me through the years:

a. How did your family escape the zombies after they turned over your car?
b. Why didn't you eat your mother after killing her with the trowel?
c. What happened to you the morning after?
-Ron T.


Dear Ron,
Dear old Dad was formerly an Olympic sprinter/power lifter and though he appeared to be out of shape, he still trained every day. He was able to run very quickly through the ravening hordes of zombies with me and my mother on his back.

I didn't eat my mother right away because, frankly, I wasn't hungry after that arm I'd had earlier. I thought it best to "prepare" some food for later, though, as I'm always hungry for snacks and I did go back much later to finish her off.

I hid in a closet after the rest of the zombies left the house. The posse never found me and traveling only at night, I eventually made my way to a big city where I blended in. I was never homeless for very long; I was awfully cute and kind-hearted strangers would take me in from time to time. I was put into therapy on a few occasions because I wouldn't speak and I was perceived as a rather violent child. I ate a few psychologists and all of my foster parents. As I got older and more able to take care of myself, I joined a carnival, and much later, the Renaissance Faire circuit. No one seemed to notice when those people went missing.

After spending years on the road, I befriended and ate a very wealthy, blind dowager and her entire estate came into my possession. I moved into her mansion and the carriage house apartment on the property now houses League headquarters.
Love,
Ghoulfriend


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The Ghoul Next Door - Night of the Living Dead 's Little Zombie

Ghoulnextdoor.com

The Ghoulish Guidance Archive

Exploding The Myth

Dear Ghoulfriend,
I have some questions that have puzzled me through the years:

a. How did your family escape the zombies after they turned over your car?
b. Why didn't you eat your mother after killing her with the trowel?
c. What happened to you the morning after?
-Ron T.


Dear Ron,
Dear old Dad was formerly an Olympic sprinter/power lifter and though he appeared to be out of shape, he still trained every day. He was able to run very quickly through the ravening hordes of zombies with me and my mother on his back.

I didn't eat my mother right away because, frankly, I wasn't hungry after that arm I'd had earlier. I thought it best to "prepare" some food for later, though, as I'm always hungry for snacks and I did go back much later to finish her off.

I hid in a closet after the rest of the zombies left the house. The posse never found me and traveling only at night, I eventually made my way to a big city where I blended in. I was never homeless for very long; I was awfully cute and kind-hearted strangers would take me in from time to time. I was put into therapy on a few occasions because I wouldn't speak and I was perceived as a rather violent child. I ate a few psychologists and all of my foster parents. As I got older and more able to take care of myself, I joined a carnival, and much later, the Renaissance Faire circuit. No one seemed to notice when those people went missing.

After spending years on the road, I befriended and ate a very wealthy, blind dowager and her entire estate came into my possession. I moved into her mansion and the carriage house apartment on the property now houses League headquarters.
Love,
Ghoulfriend


More Exploding The Myth

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