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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I am a horror convention promoter from the Midwest. My question concerns a beloved guest at our show who is wonderful in dealing with people, but is uncomfortable speaking in front of large crowds. Is it unethical for me to slip a "mickey" into her drink and then take her onstage to intro a film while she is in a zombiefied state?
Your ol' pal,
P.T. Barnum
Dear P.T.,
There is absolutely nothing immoral or unethical about inducing a zombiefied state in anyone, with or without their consent. You would be doing the poor wretch a favor by expanding her consciousness. However, I would recommend making the zombification permanent by bringing her by one of our League offices. After her quick and nearly painless initiation into living death, she's sure to be the life of any party!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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