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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Spiffy,
My wife has two, small, annoying dogs that bark all the time. My question to you is, what is the best way to cook a Pomeranian?
-Sick of barking!
Dear S.O.B.,
GRRRRRRR! WA-WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
-Spiffy
TRANSLATION:
Dear S.O.B.,
I know where you live and I'm sending my pack to get you now. Fear them. Cooking Poms is NOT an option! Before you finish reading this, you'll be simmering in a pot of hot Crisco and the Poms will be licking their chops, waiting to sink they're teeth into YOUR chops!
-Spiffy
Dear Pomeranians,
Ooff! Wawaoo! Grwwlllll!
-Spiffy
TRANSLATION:
Dear Pomeranians,
Open the front door now. My friends Guido, Frankie and Sparkles need you to let them in. The short, skinny one is Guido. He doesn't look like much, but he's tough as nails and REALLY fast. He used to race at the miniature dog track before being sidelined by a minor groin injury. Anyway, let them do their job and you'll be eating real well for a week. Forget the dog chow, you're having steak tonight!
-Spiffy
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