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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
A couple of weeks ago, Spiffy gave my wife's dogs (Pomeranians) some advice. Now I have a pack of dogs on my front lawn all of the time. I swear that those dogs have weapons on them! One of them barks with an Italian accent! I have to throw fresh meat out of the second story window and then run out the door to get to my car! It has become a real pain!
Today I found out that someone recently took out a million dollar life insurance policy on me! The insurance salesman would not tell me who is the beneficiary, but he did say they were short and furry. The policy is term life insurance and it expires next month!æ What should I do?
-Still sick of the barking, but now scared silly!
Dear Sick & Silly,
I've consulted with Spiffy on this matter and she tells me that the dogs camping out on your front lawn are her "associates." She said, and I quote, "I'm surprised he was able to write." Evidently, these dogs were sent to work with you and your dogs. Spiffy says that you should adopt them immediately because they are all sweet, homeless pups who would never, ever hurt anyone, no matter what your gut instincts may tell you. The one with the accent is a recent immigrant and really needs some assistance in acclimating to our culture. She asked that you open the door now to let them in. She's really quite adamant about this. I'm not aware of your original concern, but I'm certain that Spiffy would never steer you wrong. She's a very insightful and intuitive girl. Good luck and Godspeed.
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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