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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I have a major problem: it all stems from sitting on tombstones at night in the cemetery. I seem to have developed strange blistering blobs on my butt. Could you please tell me what they are and how I can rectify the problem?
Yer Pal,
-Zombie de la Cortlando
Dear Zombie,
I'd know how to help you if you had lesions, boils, necrotizing fasciitis or ingrown hairs, but I'm out of my depth with Blistering Blobs.
Blistering Blobs sometimes mimic the symptoms of Festering Pustules and they are all too commonly misdiagnosed as such. One would think that by now our medical community would be more knowledgeable about these two distinctly different conditions; many needless permanent deaths could be averted if this were the case.
Festering Pustules often resolve themselves without treatment and, while unsightly, they pose no real threat to one's overall health. Blistering Blobs, on the other hand, require hospitalization and the services of an exorcist, and are fatal if not treated immediately. Contrary to popular belief, Blistering Blobs are not really a skin condition, but rather a symptom of possession by an extremely malevolent entity from the 8th circle of Hell, typically reserved for diviners, alchemists, thieves and insurance salesmen. If one suffers possession by an insurance salesman, all bets are off; get your papers in order now and donate your body to us. Hope that helps!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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