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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
I am an unemployed female looking for a job, but potential employers tend to shy away from me.
I have a lot of facial hair and a large wart on my nose. My two front teeth have turned black and I'm told I have bad breath, but I'm afraid of the dentist. What sort of job can I get?
-Fuggly
Dear Fuggly,
Don't fret, dear. There are oodles of jobs for which you are well suited. Would you consider work in a morgue or funeral home? If I had my life to live over again, I'd go to cosmetology school just so I could style the hair of the dearly departed. It's a wonderful thing to send them off to the next life (or unlife, as the case may be) with good hair and nails.
If that's not for you, Spiffy's University of Cyber Space™ offers associate degrees in these fine occupations:
- Grave Digger
- Zoo Exhibit
- Dog Walker
- Kennel Attendant
- Public School Administrator
- Wal-Mart Greeter
- Cleveland Clinic Surgical Personnel
- Comic Book Store Clerk
- Barista
- Probation Officer (Florida)
- Grocery Store Bagger
- CPA
- CIA
- Talk Radio Personality
- Philippino Wedding Guest
- Television Meterologist
- Renaissance Faire Wench
- Fox News Anchorwoman
- Trinket for Michael Jackson's Curio Cabinet
- Federal Government Work (Administrative Branch)
You can be trained AT HOME for any of these exciting careers! E-mail S.U.C.S. for a free brochure today!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
More Higher Learning
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