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Dear Spiffy,
Why does my wolf howl like a wuss at the slightest provocation or noise?
-2-Shy


Dear 2-Shy,
Woof! Wah-wah-woo!™
-Spiffy

TRANSLATION:

Dear 2-Shy,
I can assure you that no member of the canine tribe is a "wuss." There is simply no such thing. We find that only human beings are capable of wussishness, and I am somewhat offended that you would ascribe such behavior to your wolf.

Your wolf may howl for various reasons, but chief among them are:

a. A desire to communicate with beings from other dimensions.
b. Answering the plaintive calls of neighboring Howling Fratboys.
c. A simple response to distant sirens.
d. A warning that residents of West Virginia are planning an attack on League headquarters.
e. A request for Scooby-Snacks.
f. Preparatory vocal training for his debut on American Idol.

There are variations in tone for each howl and you must become attuned to the expressions and moods of your wolf in order to fully comprehend what he is saying. Spiffy's University of Cyber Space™ offers non-credit courses in canine linguistics and I will be more than happy to enroll you in one of my classes. The new term will begin shortly. These courses fill up quickly so enroll right now!
-Spiffy


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