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The Ghoulish Guidance Archive
Dear Ghoulfriend,
My undead Uncle Tube is about to celebrate his 115th deathday. What sort of gift does one get for the ghoul who has everything?? He's been collecting stuff from the living for decades, and I'm at a loss. Help!
-Flummoxed Fenster
Dear Fenster,
It is always a challenge to find meaningful gifts that truly honor our elders. Just last week I had to find a Deathday gift for our founder Methuselah McShane, who, as you know, has been around for eons. Fortunately, most of the old ones seem to understand that it really is the thought that counts. They usually have all the material possessions that they can possibly attain and don't care to add more clutter to their lives. Unless Uncle Tube has had a rough afterlife, he's probably still in good physical condition. A lovely gift would be an all-expenses-paid vacation to our resort in Apache Junction, AZ. It's extremely exclusive and it's only open two months a year. As it happens, it's open right now! Because of the torrential rains last month, they've extended the season by one weekend this year. Admission to the various events is very reasonable and once inside, there's an all-you-can-eat buffet. The weather there is beautiful at this time of the year and the food is artistically presented in painstakingly authentic medieval costumes. You and Uncle Tube can wile away the hours chasing the food around the grounds, or, if you've had your fill, take in some quaint, colorful entertainment such as jugglers, storytellers, musicians and jousters. Please consider it and call your travel agent today!
Love,
Ghoulfriend
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